Phoenix Comicon 2011: The Zombie Apocalypse Edition
By Libbi Rich

As I wandered through the four days of PCC 2011, I had the opportunity to ask attendees and guests, alike, how they’d handle what we all know is the impending Zombie Apocalypse.  Here is what they had to say to this pressing question:

If you woke up tomorrow and it was the zombie apocalypse, what would you do?

Kristin Bauer (Pam – True Blood)

Before I share Ms. Bauer’s thoughts with you, I want you all to know that she is absolutely delightful and quite gracious, and here’s the personal anecdote to prove it:

I’d missed the entire second and third seasons of True Blood.  In the weeks leading up to PCC, I immersed myself in the show, watching 3 or 4 epidsodes a day.  If you’ve ever done that kind of marathon viewing, you know how it warps your mind.  I’d done the same thing a couple of years back with both The Sopranos (which gave me a lingering New Jersey accent for a while) and Six Feet Under (which caused me to imaging my death by incalculable means for months afterwards).  Now, I am usually really, really good at keeping actors and their characters separate from one another … I’d never once, in all my years of interviewing performers, screwed up and called them by their character’s name … until I stood in front of Kirstin Bauer at PCC.  I called her “Pam” not once, not twice, but three times.  She didn’t blink an eye, even though I knew I was blushing furiously, and felt about three inches tall, professionally speaking.  I did tell her my immersion tale, and it cracked her up.  All I could do is heave a great sigh of relief that she is nothing like the magnificently bitchy and evil character she portrays.

Bauer:   I wouldn’t leave the house.  The zombie apocalypse, yeah … I would eat everything I’ve wanted to eat and denied myself to keep my girlish figure for those skin-tight outfits they paint me into — so I would have a pizza, then I’d have some Haagen Dazs…

DOOM:  What’s your favorite flavor?

Bauer:  Vanilla Swiss Almond.  And I like a really good thin crust three or four cheese pizza.  And then I’d probably have something with peanut butter and chocolate.  And I’d put on the third season of True Blood and load my shotgun.

Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian, Star Wars)

I was a fan of Billy Dee Williams’ work way before I geeked out over Star Wars.  Actually, I’d developed a bit of a crush on him after seeing him play Louis McKay, Billie Holiday’s great love, in the 1972 film Lady Sings the Blues.

Williams: I probably wouldn’t be able to do very much; I probably wouldn’t be here.

DOOM:  Do you think the zombies would get you?

Williams:  I’d run.  As fast as I could.

Cassandra Peterson (Elvira, Mistress of the Dark)

We caught Ms. Peterson on a day she appeared without the elaborate Elvira action.  She was funny and natural, and you could still catch the Mistress of the Dark sparkle in her eyes.  I figured anyone who was that familiar with the macabre would definitely have a plan!

Peterson:  Well, like I always say, if you can’t beat them, join them. First I would beat them, I’d beat the crap out of them, then if that didn’t work, I’d join them.  And then I’d go to Disneyland!

Team ’68 (Jay Fotos, Artist, Mark Kidwell, Author, Nat Jones, Artist)

These guys are probably the most prepared anyone could possibly be for the big day.  Their comic ’68 is an ultimate Vietnam War zombiefest.

Fotos:  Well, I would probably gear up on any kind of weaponry that is available. I would get that thing running, that’s on top of there (pointing to a automatic gun set up on a totally tricked out jeep in the ’68 display) –we’ve got a minigun on top of the Jeep.  It would be nice to get that one operational. I’d probably go out there and get as much ammo and weapons as I could, then I would hunker down.

Kidwell:  I’d call Jennifer Love Hewitt and say “Get on a plane!”

Jones:  I’d probably call Nark and ask him what to do.

Kidwell:  I’d tell you to call Jay.  He’s got all the big guns.

Jones: I’d ask you (Kidwell) “Is Jennifer there yet?”

Wil Wheaton (Eureka, Big Bang Theory,The Guild, Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Those of you who are familiar with my rambles already know that Wil Wheaton is one of my favorite people in the entire Universe.  You also know that I rant and rave against attributing personality characteristics to celebrities whom we do not really know in life.  That said, Wil Wheaton is one of my favorite people in the entire Universe.  In the several times I’ve met him, or interacted with him online, he has never once appeared to be anything other than WYSIWYG.  He is the Anti-Dick.  There’s even a law named for him (uh, Wheaton’s Law).  MC Frontalot wrote a tribute song about him.  He is, unofficially, at least, The King of the Geeks (Felicia Day is Queen, but that’s another story).

Wheaton: I would run out into the middle of the mass of zombies to die as quickly as possible because when the zombie apocalypse happens, the survivors are already dead. It’s just a matter of time.

Bruce Boxleitner (Tron)

Bruce Boxleitner fought for the users in Tron.  We asked what he’d do about zombies; he had plenty to say on that subject, as well as his perspective on the changes in science fiction and fantasy media over the past 25 years.

Boxleitner:  If it was the zombie apocalypse,  I’d make sure to have plenty of

DOOM:  Do you have a place you’d from where you could stake ’em out?

Boxleitner:  Oh yeah, I’ve got a good place. And believe me–you could pave a road with all their bodies, ‘cause I’d take every one of them out.

At this point in our conversation, Mr. Boxleitner let go a heavy sigh.

Boxleitner:  I am so tired of vampires and zombies in our pop culture. When will we be finally done with this so we can get to science fiction again? They’re not science fiction.

DOOM: No, they’re more fantasy; horror fantasy.

Boxleitner:   They’re horror fantasy, and I love my lady here of True Blood (smiling over at Pam, um, Kristin Bauer), and that’s a damn good show, but I’m
just saying that I’m almost saying, “enough, already, enough.” I would like some intelligently written science fiction again.

But it turns out that Boxleitner is a huge King of Thrones fan.  Somebody gave him a copy of the first book in  George R.R. Martin’s Fire and Ice series, on which the HBO phenom is based, and Boxleitner fell in love.  Even though there are zombies.

Boxleitner:  I think the HBO production is just phenomenal. I can’t wait to go home to L.A. tonight and it’ll be on by the time I get home, hopefully, and otherwise I’ll catch it Thursday.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two of the most interesting replies to the Zombie Apocalypse question came from Tracy Slider, a host at the Phoenix Convention Center and Louis Carmona, a security guard:

Slider: I would probably turn into a cat and I would go around eating all the flesh I could, and grow to be a gigantic cat and rule the world. That’s what I would do.

Carmona:  I would save the world; take care of all the evil.  I’d do it by flying!

Several attendees answered our burning question:

“What would I do? Honestly, I would try and avoid every major place that sells weapons or any kinds of tools of destruction, because if you do that, a lot of people are going to be going there and trying to raid. So you’ll have mass hysteria in that are, so people will go insane and hurt you.   What I would do is probably stick it out in my house for a few hours to see how everything goes and try to find any blunt objects in my house, because I know for a fact that, in my house, I do have weapons–legal, mind you–and, after that, it would just be choice. I’d call up some of my friends to find out what’s going on in their areas, and try and find a direct route or a safe route that we can get through”.

“Well, first off, I’d barricade my house to make sure there’s no zombies in there while I’m looking for my weapons and such, to gather everything… do the same thing, call my friends, see if we want to meet up to a point, try to get our friends, figure out what we want to do. And if they kinda want to do their own thing, I would like to try to go to the school that’s near my house, ‘cause it has a big gate around it, and it has high buildings, as well as pencils, utensils, and all these other things that I could use as weapons.”

“I have no idea. I would lock up, stay in my house, and make sure I had everything and thought a plan through before I did anything.”

“First I would see what the progress was outside, and further make sure–on the progress–if it’s all spread out or not. I’d get to the highest top of my house and scout out the area. Reach higher ground and just plan and… figure out when is the best time to get some stuff, wait it out till last minute–well, not last minute, but wait out till the right time to go get stuff. And also… be very wary of surroundings, make sure that I don’t use up a lot of stuff, try to survive as much as I could.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So watch out zombies!  Phoenix is ready for you!



Libbi Rich (40 Posts)

Middle-aged punk princess; pop culture hound; geekgirl; liberal activist and general shit-stirrer; reader of nanopunk/cyberpunk/comics/ anything-I-can-get-my-hands-on; wife and mom.