So, apparently it is once again time for me to try and write a wrestling column. For those of you who DON’T know: I’ve been a fan since high school and have stopped watching now and again, only to inevitably get sucked back in.
Warning: I will be approaching these columns as a feminist and as someone who will be quite blatant when she’s marking out. If either of these facts will bother you, turn around now. And if you just don’t care about wrestling, why are you even still reading this?
Oh, and as for the title? Snark + Marking Out = Snarking Out. I think it’s clever.
So, Over the Limit has been and gone and honestly, I’m not left with much to say. I won’t for an instant say it was “bad” or claim to be upset/insulted by it (honestly, I’m at the point where I recognize as a fan that I can simply stop watching if I’m not enjoying it. It’s entertainment). I thought Sin Cara and Chavo put on a good match and while I knew The Corre was going to involve themselves in Ezekiel’s match with Wade, I also know that it’s part of a longer storyline. I LOVED the Randy Orton/Christian match and wish they were going to be doing a longer program…but it would be difficult to sustain it without one of them going heel and the mutual admiration thing is part of what I’m LOVING about it. I was sad that Kharma didn’t show up…but Bret Hart’s surprise appearance was fantastic.
And then? Then there was the “I Quit” match.
I knew going in that it was going to take a lot to win me over. I remember watching The Rock and Mankind at the Royal Rumble in 1999 and being so emotionally invested in the match. It was the down-on-his-luck guy who had been shunned by the Corporate World At Large versus the Corporate Golden Boy, a heel you loved to hate. It was so heated and the two wrestlers involved brought a drama to the whole feud that is still hard to beat.
So, yeah. High standards.
Add to that my indifference to The Miz and my dislike of the John Cena character. This match was already not looking to be my cup of tea, but I figured, hey, “I Quit” match. That’s good for some drama, right?
I HATED this match. It was so slow moving, featured so much talking, and it wasn’t even DRAMATIC. As I mentioned on Twitter while annoying my non-wrestling followers, after The Miz’s taunted Cena with “I have a weapon, Cena. I’m going to cause you PAIN, Cena, unless you say ‘I Quit!'” I had to wonder how long it was going to take until they were in the back at craft services. “I have a muffin, Cena. I think it’s blueberry. You can have it if you say ‘I Quit.'”
Just to be sure, I went back and rewatched Rock/Mankind from ’99 and you know what? There was talking there, too. You had THE ROCK and MANKIND in a match, of COURSE there was going to be talk. But while from the very beginning, The Rock’s responses to “Do you quit?” were his trademark snark and smacktalking, Cena’s first few refusals were simply “No.” Which…didn’t seem to fit the character.
Also, I have to point this out: there wasnt this weird hyper-masculine thing to The Rock and Mankind. Where as Cena kept telling The Miz that he “hit like a girl” and “had no balls.” But I think that’s something I need to touch on another time.
But the thing is, I don’t blame Cena and The Miz for this match disappointing me. The attempt at a more psychological approach as opposed to “Hitting you with random things” was definitely worth a chance, I think it was just played out poorly. And, like I admitted, I didn’t feel any kind of attachment to this match.
Basically, I’m saying: I know that I really just shouldn’t judge Miz/Cena against Mankind/Rock. You’re talking very different men in very different characters in very different eras of pro-wrest…
er, sports ent…
OH SCREW IT: pro-wrestling.
Plus: it’s gotta be damn hard to do this sort of match in a PG environment. You can’t do shots to the head (which Mankind/Rock was full of). You can’t do blood. So, if you can’t do body drama, you’ve gotta do psychological drama. Just…maybe these two guys weren’t the right ones to do it. Or maybe this just wasn’t the right feud for it.
No matter what: I would rather see the WWE do what they can to protect their wrestlers than have people end up concussed, broken and putting their careers and wellness on the line just because I get a kick out of watching them beat the crap out of each other. But maybe, if they’re going to do this, they need to retire certain matches for the time being.